Help For My Friend

I wrote a few weeks ago about my friend whose wife died. Some folks are organizing a benefit for him. If any of you creative types out there have some stuff you'd like to donate to the benefit (lots of you seemed touched by his loss and his words), send me an email. I'll divulge my secret, real identity to get your goodies to donate!

They're looking for stuff to raffle and stuff for a silent auction.

Sisters.

"When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?"

-Pam Brown

Since Vowels is here and I got the sweetest, sweetest message from my sister-in-law today, I've got sisters on my mind.

My women friends heal me, without doing anything except listening and talking. Sitting in the car next to V and being able to talk without having to perform, pretend, monologue, explain...just being able to be me, plain and true, is the best thing. It's exactly what I needed right now.

Super Fun Yum Yum!

I'm having more fun than you are! We went gem hunting in the mountains! We drank wine and bought oil at a hippy store! We rode in the car and sang! We laughed and laughed and ate fudge and went to a crazy little redneck store and Vowels got her picture taken by a Con-fed-rut flag and we laughed at that and then there were boiled peanuts and weird cherry cider!

Now we're back home with my handsome man and we're going to sit on the couch and drink a bottle of pear cider and watch cartoons!

Swoon in your jealous rage!

How To Be Dead.

Mormonesque turned me on to this Snow Patrol song while we were on our road trip. Here's the lyrics:

Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth
No you don' tknow what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to this wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up
I won't stop
No way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion. Can you give me some time?
So just say yes or no.
Why can't you shoulder the blame?
Cause both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both.
You're a big boy now, so let's not talk about growth.
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh My God.

Please take it easy, it can't all be my fault.
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking, and not a lot else.
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again,
But if the ecstasy's in the wit is definitely out.
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde,
for my pride.

Isn't it perfect? Isn't it just fucking perfect? It's like a conversation we would have. The best parts are those about drugs, Dr. Jekyll and Hyde, pride, the "Oh My God," and the shoulders. It's perfect.

I read it as a recount of a conversation between two people. It pleases me.

Also today I'm listening to Wilco and Ryan Adams. Question sent me two cds yesterday, and they're both the first ones these guys recorded after kicking heroin (beating a dead horse just occurred to me as extremely funny. If heroin is a horse, I'd beating it. If it's a dead horse, I'm still beating it. Hah). It's good music with just the right bittersweet melancholy, and I'll always listen to it with the memory of her sweet note.

I love everybody!

Everybody's Doing It.

I'm a blog pusher-man...But this one is good, and I think many of you reading my site might really enjoy it, and many of you (Chloe, I'm looking at you HARD), might even like writing there. It's a group blog started by EJ of Behind Pinned Eyes, and a bunch of us blog rockstars who like to sit around and talk to each other all day through our blogs are now going to do it in an even more publicly onanistic kind of way! I love these guys. Scout's there, and Wayward Son, and all kinds of folks. So come on over!

You can read at The Write Thought, and to sign up to become and author, email ejsblog@gmail.com.

Friends.

"Why do people keep giving you stuff?"

"They feel sorry for me because you're such a jerk!"

"People must really like you."

It's almost a novel idea to him...kindness emerging from a genuine place. You see, my husband is the world's most spectacular liar. Sometimes, it's like watching a professional athlete. He will lie and lie, and he'll get you to believe his lies, and lie some more, and look so fucking compelling that soon, you're unloading your wallet or your car or your cookie, whatever it is that you have that he wants. And not only are you giving it up, but you feel good about it...as if you've done a favor for yourself, somehow.

It's magical. It's also, often, really ugly.

But the last few days, I've been blessed with this wonderful outpouring of love from my friends in the form of presents. From Behind Pinned Eyes loaning me a computer (You selfish jerk! Hehe...) to the bizarre and beautiful collection of amazements in a box from Long Vowels that I got yesterday to the t-shirt from Meagan to the crazy handmade poetry pillows from Question to the weird Communist breath juice from Jeni to the sweet and delightful smelling bath stuff from Chloe The Commenter that I brought home from my meeting tonight (and I just took the most luxurious bath. I needed it. Thank you!), it's like it's been my birthday or something. And I didn't even have to tell a single lie or twist any arms to get people to be nice to me.

"You can't do things for the addict, but you can be things." I'm being something...I'm being loved! I'm showing him how it is to be loved, and not just in the way I love him...in the way that love comes to you when you're nice, and when you have good friends who care about you and support you because they want to. Those kinds of gifts are infinitely sweeter than ones you whine for or wheedle your way into getting. Those kinds of gifts are beautiful, heartfelt, honest.

And now Mormonesque is going with me out of town to stay in a hotel and do girl things...and then we might see Question in real life, and we might even make a rapid run to Manhattan, and Kathryn is getting married, and then Vowels is coming over....I've got so much to be grateful for and look forward to. I have GOOD FRIENDS...

And, there will be internet when I get to the hotel tomorrow, so I'll be posting while I'm away. we plan to be busy, so I might not have my regular updates for those of you I entertain during your workdays. It's back to stalking folks on Myspace, guys! But I promise that we'll make excellent stories, and I'm going to try to find a way to take pictures that I can post here.