Friday, July 20, 2007


"Why do people keep giving you stuff?"

"They feel sorry for me because you're such a jerk!"

"People must really like you."

It's almost a novel idea to him...kindness emerging from a genuine place. You see, my husband is the world's most spectacular liar. Sometimes, it's like watching a professional athlete. He will lie and lie, and he'll get you to believe his lies, and lie some more, and look so fucking compelling that soon, you're unloading your wallet or your car or your cookie, whatever it is that you have that he wants. And not only are you giving it up, but you feel good about if you've done a favor for yourself, somehow.

It's magical. It's also, often, really ugly.

But the last few days, I've been blessed with this wonderful outpouring of love from my friends in the form of presents. From Behind Pinned Eyes loaning me a computer (You selfish jerk! Hehe...) to the bizarre and beautiful collection of amazements in a box from Long Vowels that I got yesterday to the t-shirt from Meagan to the crazy handmade poetry pillows from Question to the weird Communist breath juice from Jeni to the sweet and delightful smelling bath stuff from Chloe The Commenter that I brought home from my meeting tonight (and I just took the most luxurious bath. I needed it. Thank you!), it's like it's been my birthday or something. And I didn't even have to tell a single lie or twist any arms to get people to be nice to me.

"You can't do things for the addict, but you can be things." I'm being something...I'm being loved! I'm showing him how it is to be loved, and not just in the way I love the way that love comes to you when you're nice, and when you have good friends who care about you and support you because they want to. Those kinds of gifts are infinitely sweeter than ones you whine for or wheedle your way into getting. Those kinds of gifts are beautiful, heartfelt, honest.

And now Mormonesque is going with me out of town to stay in a hotel and do girl things...and then we might see Question in real life, and we might even make a rapid run to Manhattan, and Kathryn is getting married, and then Vowels is coming over....I've got so much to be grateful for and look forward to. I have GOOD FRIENDS...

And, there will be internet when I get to the hotel tomorrow, so I'll be posting while I'm away. we plan to be busy, so I might not have my regular updates for those of you I entertain during your workdays. It's back to stalking folks on Myspace, guys! But I promise that we'll make excellent stories, and I'm going to try to find a way to take pictures that I can post here.


Wayward Son said...

I think it's when you focus on what you want... you get it. And we don't even have to be all greedy about it because that's not about getting what we want anyway. What we want, there's plenty of.


Stagnant Artist said...

if you are going to NYC, you better call your Ninja bitches up! We miss you!!!!

Ask Aunt B said...

You are blesed because you appreciate it and do not have a sense of entitlement and resentment when you don't have or don't get your way. Us addicts must learn that it's not always, me, me, me. We always want what we want, when we want it. It sucks until we realize that thus far, things are because we have a self-will run riot.
Good for you, g-friend.

Question said...

Have fun! And call me on Sunday. I should be back noon-ish.

Meagan said...

I felt bad for you because you were poor, not because he was a jerk. =)

Anonymous said...

Wait one damn minute, I am the world's best liar! I still stand by giving you the laptop because I am selfish, not because you are nice, and I like you, and you needed help :P lol.