We laughed until we cried today, singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" and fighting with toll booth hos. We embarassingly didn't have enough money for our tolls...as if I haven't made this trip up and down the East Coast a thousand times. We had to dig around under the seats and crap, and the toll lady yelled at us, which made us giggle and be giddy.
Giddy girl time is the best. I needed this. Even though I was disappointed, I think it's good that he wasn't able to come with me. She needed this, and I needed this. I think she might become a Roller Derby girl with me. Yay!
We were stuck in traffic in D.C. for a while, which made us both a little grumpy, but otherwise, it was a glorious road trip. We made it to the rehearsal hours and hours late, but we got to eat this macaroni and cheese that was spectacularly delicious, and I hugged the bride and felt already like I might cry because she's so beautiful and I'm happy she's going to have a big wedding and marry a man who seems to be good, upon first inspection.
Also in the car I took care of some phone calls I'd needed to deal with. I had been hit up by the Steve Wilkos show as a possible candidate to be on the television show to talk about addicts and their silly-ass wives, and I finally contacted the producer today. I was interested in sharing my "wisdom," which includes 1 and only 1 tip: GO TO MEETINGS. I also thought I might promote the site and get me a zillion ad clicks and make me a millionaire, and of course, I want to ride in a car with Paris Hilton and throw umbrellas at the paparazzi. I'd been concerned, though, about the ability to protect my anonymity, so I called to find out about how that could work.
Alas, however, we weren't interesting enough. The wife of a recovering heroin addict felon who is married to his ex-best-friend's ex-wife just isn't quite enough drama. I think they'd hoped he was still using so that the Steve guy could come yell at him. Steve Wilkos, for those of you not up to date on your talk shows, is the guy who used to be on the Jerry Springer show, the bald body guard who always broke up the fights. I was a bit skeptical when I got the first email, but flattered that my site had found its way into the producer's hands.
But anyway, if any of you guys have an addict in your lives who needs his or her ass beat, let me know, and I'll put you in touch with the Steve Wilkos folks. I'm saving the phone number for the next big relapse. Muahahaha! (That's my evil laugh.)
I miss my man. I'm going to sleep with my face on a stinky old shirt of his. We went last night to his parents' house to get these rocks that he wanted to use to build a patio and do some other landscaping. We were scavenging for rocks by the moonlight, and it was lovely. I fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, smelling his hair.
You know, I'm not even scared to have left him at home this time. I guess the last time I left him I wasn't afraid to leave him either, but today, I'm thinking about it. Is that something like trust? Or is it detachment? I'm trying to decide which it is...but either way, it feels good to leave, miss him, and not worry. I did joke with him that Google had invented a new tool, Google Blood, and that he should be careful because I could search the contents of his blood whenever I wanted.
Joking about these kinds of things is fun, and I think that sometimes it helps us talk about issues that can make us touchy or that are painful. However, there is always the moment when we can't joke anymore, or when one of us isn't able to accept a joke. It's a risk...but Google jokes are always good.
I kissed him a thousand times before I left, and we exchanged "I Love Yous," and I made him promise not to do anything that could make him be dead before I got back because I don't think there's enough detachment in the world to make me able to live in a world without him. He said he'd do his best.
That's all I can ask for.