Wednesday, April 16, 2008


While I'm away,
dust out the demons inside...

There's a real strong chance that my husband and I will be facing some time apart, and it will quite possibly be more than a year.

I can't say much more yet. My stomach feels knotty, and my heart ragged. I am trying to enjoy the moments we have together now, but I'm so angry.

I had big plans for us. I had big plans for me. I feel my life screeching to a halt.

Perhaps it will be good to pause, to put the focus on nothing but me and healing my life. Perhaps I'll get myself cleaned out and he'll get himself cleaned out, and we'll have a fresh start. Perhaps I'll realize that it's impossible to live with someone who invites such chaos into my life. Either way, something will be happening. The time isn't wasted, and I'm growing, and that's good.