Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Fucking Dumbass Shit.

I've been given instructions to write a gratitude list...and I'm just about to get to that...but first, I need to bitch about something.

The fucking thing that I hate most right now in my life is being scared--scared for myself, for my man, and for my stuff.

The fucking thing that I hate second most in my life right now is the tediousness of it all. I hate all these ghetto scenarios this dumbass man I love keeps getting me stuck in. I hate having to think about "pawn shops" and "dealers" and "guns" and all that kind of wannabe thug dumbshit. I fucking hate the stories that I am always telling people. I hate the entire rhetoric of addict-life...the pawn and steal and gun and lie and twenty dollars and blah blah blah. I have better things to do with my head. I have better language to use than that.

It's ghetto.

3 comments:

Ej. said...

All of that seems more like active addiction behavior, stories, attitudes and life than it does recovering behavior. Out of all of the heroin addicts you know, do any of them have insanity like this in a non using environment? Why is your life different?

sKILLz said...

Ghetto, yea I guess. Its really just part of the fucking game that hes playing.
This just all comes along with it. All this bullshit and how people how are getting high and selling live.

sKILLz said...

Girl you said what I feel everyday of my life! Even though I am an addict, I dont live like one, but to be around them and hear the stories as I run in to them on the coming and goings of the day are fuckin insane. I feel the same way you do and I think its totally fuckin ludicrous. I cant phathom the idea of the drama day in and day out, there is sooooo much more to life even while you are using.

GYPSY (Skillz's Wife)