Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Daniel Baldwin

"I'm an egotistical overachiever with an inferiority complex," Daniel Baldwin said.

My husband fell in love with him last night while watching ABC's Family Secrets documentary thing. A reporter interviewed him at various stages throughout his stay at the swanky Malibu Promises treatment center, where celebrities and the ultra rich go to dry out. Something about the excessively blue eyed, charming, and difficult Baldwin made my man feel close to him. It was kind of funny to watch.

Baldwin was occasionally recalcitrant or petulant in that oh-so-addicty way, and I'd say, "See how hard he is to talk to! See how he's being!" and he'd just laugh and laugh.

It's kind of frustrating when he can see it, and we know he can see it, and we've all acknowledged that he's being annoying like Daniel Baldwin talking about his guilt over his children's experiences with his using.

I sat in his lap and we laughed at how Daniel Baldwin could be my third husband. He's just my type. I rubbed his beard against my face. I was furious with him. I wanted to smell his armpits. I wanted to throw all his clothes in the yard and scream. I wanted to kiss.

Yes, Mantra, the next time I want to ride a roller coaster, I'm going to the fucking amusement park. Or I'm marrying Daniel Baldwin.

Another precious Daniel Baldwin bit, "There's the person that's the addict, and then there's the person that's who you are. I prefer to say that I am a beautiful person. But the addict is a horrible person. The addict will screw you over and lie to you and do all kinds of things."

Ain't that the truth.


The Discovering Alcoholic said...

I guess I am a little more cynical of his last bit:

""There's the person that's the addict, and then there's the person that's who you are..."

At least for myself I can say that there was only the conniving, thieving, and lying alcoholic who would sometimes use that "who I really am routine" to gain sympathy and support. I was an alcoholic through and through and it has been my experience that it is this way with most addicts and alcoholics.

There was the potential for good, but my acts were cold and calculated with no internal struggle against my "goodside".

It wasn't until a good ways into my recovery before I figured out I had the potential and opportunity to become a good person.

Oh crap, I'll just blog the rest over at TDA because this one is going to turn into a rant.

Thanks for the inspiration TJW!

msb said...

And co's are just ripe for the taking.

MICKY said...

About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 2004, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages . God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].

Ingrid said...

My father was an alcoholic. I very much remember that f$@%^* Jekill and Hyde thing. I do not know what was going inside his head. But TDA is probably right.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Daniel, we need to be careful how much we separate our SELVES from the ADDICT. It's a tricky thing that causes relapses and places blame OUTSIDE of our own being.
I've been to Malibu Promises -- twice. Whoop. Whoop. Just another rehab.