Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Stray Is Gone.

Finally. His stuff is still there, but his person is gone. My husband is riddled with guilt. I've been trying to explain to him about enabling, but he just feels guilty. He wants his friend to get out of his parents' house. I agree that it would be very healthy for the Stray, who is 30, frequently drunk, and whose parents are prone to violence, to have a place of his own; however...not my bucket of shit. Not my husband's bucket of shit.

If living with the parents who are prone to violence hasn't encouraged him to get out on his own, and if he hasn't been able to save up enough money to get his own place while living with his folks, he certainly wasn't going to be motivated to get out while staying with us.

I feel a little guilty, too. I think the Stray wanted to find a way to stay with us permanently. He'd asked my husband if it was ok if he put posters up in the room he was staying in. He likes us, and he thinks we're cool. We are cool. But we're grown, and married. The Stray would get upset with my husband for wanting to hang out with me when I get home from work. "You're a totally different person when she's here than when she's not!" he'd whine, upset that he wouldn't go do graffiti with him or sit with him on the couch to watch movies or sit outside with him while he smoked. He wanted us to have something like a frat house.

My husband and I are very married. We kind of slobber all over each other all the time, or sit quietly in the same room, or make out or fight or cry...but when we're together, we're really, really together. It's nice, and it's happy a lot of the time, but there's no room in our codependent little love nest for a poor Stray.

So I'm glad he's gone. I hope he gets his shit together and gets his own place soon, before his mom stabs him. Poor kid.

5 comments:

longvowels said...

Yippee! My room is free!
I can't wait to stay in it!

Wayward Son said...

You mean before his mom stabs him again.

It is sad but your right. It's not your bucket.

E. said...

Lol, both of those comments were gonna be mine. The funny thing is my stray is gone too. Left last night, apparently he took the initiative and got himself a room at the local clean and sober house. So I am happy for my friend. He has been off heroin for 16 months now. I was worried when he came back from rehab in the city. He kinda sat around for a week or two, he drank once, but that's on him. I kinda suggested that he start going to meetings again, which he did, which led to meeting new people, which led him to getting into the C&S House. Not only that but escaped the wrath of my (ex). Lucky him.

just another addict said...

I'm glad he's gone, too.
I'm moving in now.
We can send for MPJ.
Peace,
Scout

kristi said...

I repeat that over and over "not my bucket of shit, not my bucket of shit." It's my new motto!