Finally. His stuff is still there, but his person is gone. My husband is riddled with guilt. I've been trying to explain to him about enabling, but he just feels guilty. He wants his friend to get out of his parents' house. I agree that it would be very healthy for the Stray, who is 30, frequently drunk, and whose parents are prone to violence, to have a place of his own; however...not my bucket of shit. Not my husband's bucket of shit.
If living with the parents who are prone to violence hasn't encouraged him to get out on his own, and if he hasn't been able to save up enough money to get his own place while living with his folks, he certainly wasn't going to be motivated to get out while staying with us.
I feel a little guilty, too. I think the Stray wanted to find a way to stay with us permanently. He'd asked my husband if it was ok if he put posters up in the room he was staying in. He likes us, and he thinks we're cool. We are cool. But we're grown, and married. The Stray would get upset with my husband for wanting to hang out with me when I get home from work. "You're a totally different person when she's here than when she's not!" he'd whine, upset that he wouldn't go do graffiti with him or sit with him on the couch to watch movies or sit outside with him while he smoked. He wanted us to have something like a frat house.
My husband and I are very married. We kind of slobber all over each other all the time, or sit quietly in the same room, or make out or fight or cry...but when we're together, we're really, really together. It's nice, and it's happy a lot of the time, but there's no room in our codependent little love nest for a poor Stray.
So I'm glad he's gone. I hope he gets his shit together and gets his own place soon, before his mom stabs him. Poor kid.