Friday, August 15, 2008

But I'm Also Grateful.

I'm wary, yes, of my husband's comments earlier tonight...but this other thing happened today that was very special.

He gave me a $50 bill. He went to work even though he doesn't feel good, and he worked all day and earned $50. He brought that $50 home, and he gave it to me.

There's so many parts of that experience that are really big for him...going to work without feeling good and working through his detox sickness...making money and having cash in his hands...choosing not to use with that money...choosing to give the money to me. That's big stuff, and I have to acknowledge that it's development.

He's trying really hard to do something. I'm not sure what it is, and I don't think he knows, either...but he's trying. His face looks like it hurts to be him tonight. His body feels sweaty all over, and he's weepy all the time. He's having a hard time, but he's fighting to get to the other side of this stuff, and I'm grateful for the work he's doing. I hope it sticks.