Monday, July 28, 2008


Money. I found out today about another way that I'm going to be tighter on money. It's a problem I'm facing all by myself. My husband didn't help create it at all. He adds to the stress of it by being unable to contribute to make up for my financial shortfalls, but in the end, this is all mine.

I am struggling to find work, yet I'm always at work. I'm always looking for an ever-elusive job. Is anyone hiring? Anybody want to take a chance on a junky's wife? I'll only blog a little at work, and otherwise, I'm quite the workaholic perfectionist maniac. I'll do anything you want, especially for health insurance. I'd wear one of those Statue of Liberty outfits and dance by the side of the road with a sign if you'd give me health insurance.

I'm trying to keep my head up. Things always work out. I haven't had my power cut off yet. Hopefully, things will work out.

I am afraid, though. I'm afraid. Failing to provide for myself financially is my worst fear, and I thought that I'd beaten the worst of it. I beat myself up about it a lot. I tell myself I shouldn't have bought my house, even though I bought the house with the understanding that my husband would be working, contributing, helping. He'd always done it before.

I'm so tired.