Friday, November 23, 2007

Touching.

Tonight, I remembered to appreciate the man sitting across from me at dinner. He reached across the table to take my hand, and I gave it to him without one iota of doubt, fear, or question. It made me think of the early days of our relationship, when every touch was stolen.

For years and years, his presence would consume a room. Not touching him could occupy all of my mental resources. Our relationship would be active and then not, on and off, but always, always, the tension between us was dense and palpable. If we were located within the same geographic region, his hands would find their way to my body, his breath to my neck. It might be brief, stolen, painful, but it was always true, always certain to happen, and always backed with a deep, honest hunger. I was terrified and thrilled by him. I could barely meet his gaze for fear of getting lost in it.

Tonight, I can look this man straight in his eyes, and I can tell him that I love him. I can let him kiss my neck and let his wonderful hands roam with their native familiarity all over my body.

"Nobody can tell me that I can't let you touch me!" I announced to him. He laughed. "And I can touch you whenever I want!"

That's a gift. It's something that once seemed too distant, too difficult, too impossible to ever realize, and it's here now. If we can be husband and wife after years of hiding, we can do anything together.

7 comments:

Doc's Girl said...

An appropriate title for a very touching post... :) It is amazing how much emotion lies behind a simple touch.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I'm tired. This is beautiful but I can't think of an appropriate comment, so Wayward Son is going to leave the perfect one for me. If not on this post than another one for sure. I'm going to go click around here and see what else is going on. ;)

Mantramine said...

That was lovely- chicken head

Recovering Wino said...

I love the way you write.

I still have to get to your meme...I have so much writing for school, it's hard for me to write on a blog:)

laurie said...

That was, as you say, very, very touching. And you sound happy, which is very good, too.

Chris said...

Something about the forbidden and the chase comes to mind, but I can't remember what....I think it has something to do with the excitement of it all and what happens when all of that is gone..Wish I could remember who wrote it and what it was. I'm old!

carlemo said...

"She acts like it doesn't break my heart to know that I hurt her feelings."

I know how that feels, everyday, with so many people. I know the article was probably supposed to be funny, but... that line was painfully close.