Monday, October 8, 2007

An Email.

I got an email last night from someone who is going through the madness of living with an addict and who also lost a sister to heroin. She shared this poem with me and offered to let me post it here, so I thought I would. Maybe some comment-loving will help her through a rough time.


Eyes so striking they peer right through me
Questions on the face of you
Confusion chaos confusion mass panic within
Lines tainting everything lines drawn across the edge
of my sky and buried in the mind lines possessing and
stealing my dreams washing away washing down a drain
so abyss like is there a bottom
Voices echoing around pressure mounts and caving in
caving in another season of caving
To what
Patterns shaded black as night leave me panicked
Holding my hand
I am perplexed
Your kiss hollow on my lips I cannot read your eyes
they are spent
Loyalty no diversions
Something in me signals an alarm
Something in me says be weary
Something in me paints a web of deception on the face
of another
Your words are so strong
I am resilient yet I am shocked
Stunned and intimidated walk all these creases of my
heart often the taste upon my tongue is a mixture
exacting
May I be delicate to you
May I be fragile
Is it fucking possible that I could shatter
When my world is streaked with madness
All I ever wished for was so very simple
Just wanted to be plain
No eye upon me
All I ever needed was one
My spite doth suffocate
My fears encircle me I live a life of discernment
I try so very hard to discern what is right what is
wrong
I am letting you in inviting you to commingle with me
I want to wander in you
I want to understand what it is that I see when your
lines are laid out and your words become a jumble of
absurdity
When your words run up and down my spine and bend me
towards a door departing
I don’t want to spend another second worrying about us
I want to stop this pendulum stop it from swaying and
conquer this with you
You brought me freedom in a sense
You brought me out of my cubbyhole and gave me hope
I believe in you David
I believe you

3 comments:

Edith Whoreton said...

Thank you for sharing your poem--very sad and yet with a little bit of hope. One of the great things about blogs is the opportunity to let our pain help other people, so thank you for putting yours out there for the rest of us.

ScOuT said...

Thanks for sharing this here.
One thing I would like to let you know is that we all (us junkys) need someone to believe in us.
I'm grateful for him that he has you.
Peace,
Scout

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Hugs to you, anonymous poet. Thank you for sharing your pain, your anxiety, your confusion, your love and your hope. All those feels resonate so much with me. I hope it gets easier for you.