"You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right, too."-Anais Nin
After our 12 Step Writing Workshop yesterday, I was all worked up, all stirred up. I have built a particular kind of life for myself, and right now, it looks like I might have taken some really wrong turns. It's hard.
It's hard, hard, hard.
And at the same time, it's unspeakably beautiful. Almost every day, there's at least a few minutes when I am overwhelmed by absolute despair. And almost every day, there are a few moments when I am so completely sure that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
A guy I knew in grad school wrote a piece and said, "If I were going to fail, I wanted to fail spectacularly." I thought it was pretty funny, and pretty apt for the way I'd chosen to live. As I get older, I wonder if choosing to do everything the way that was harder, if more true, might not have been a mistake.
Today, it's not a mistake.
2 comments:
"Almost every day, there's at least a few minutes when I am overwhelmed by absolute despair. And almost every day, there are a few moments when I am so completely sure that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be."
I feel the same and have been searching for these very words. It's like a game of ping pong and I'm not comfortable on either side of the table.
I hope in time you will come to see that the harder way is not a mistake, J. You are here for a purpose and that harder way you take is giving you the experience to help someone else through the very. same. thing.
And that's your purpose....
Just one junky's view --
MADNESS!
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