"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm."
Maybe I've finally been to enough meetings and chanted the Serenity prayer the right number of times to please the godlike person, place, or thing that's looking out for me. I don't know what's changed...but I'm so content lately...the person I am, the people I know, the place where I live all just feel so right, for the first time in a long time.
For the first time, maybe, ever.
At last night's meeting, we were talking about memories, how they wash up, and wash up, again and again, and how much they can hurt. It made me think of how each time, each year, when the weather changes, I get all swamped in melancholy. I think of where I've been, where I'm going, what it means. I think of all the years before and what I was doing when I felt that first fall chill, smelled that soft decay just beginning, and I feel sad.
The cool and the smell is different this year, though. It's invigorating. It means that it's time for a new chapter, a chapter where the heroine has found a wealth of strength and hope and peace, which is all I've wanted for so long, and the hero isn't looking so bad himself.
After our respective meetings, we had such a sweet night last night. Sharing this growth with someone who is so special, in a place that's so beautiful, in our bed in our room in our home on our land by our street in our town in the world under the stars...it's warm and secure, or I'm warm and secure in the midst of our settling madness.