Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Serenity granted.

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm."

Maybe I've finally been to enough meetings and chanted the Serenity prayer the right number of times to please the godlike person, place, or thing that's looking out for me. I don't know what's changed...but I'm so content lately...the person I am, the people I know, the place where I live all just feel so right, for the first time in a long time.

For the first time, maybe, ever.

At last night's meeting, we were talking about memories, how they wash up, and wash up, again and again, and how much they can hurt. It made me think of how each time, each year, when the weather changes, I get all swamped in melancholy. I think of where I've been, where I'm going, what it means. I think of all the years before and what I was doing when I felt that first fall chill, smelled that soft decay just beginning, and I feel sad.

The cool and the smell is different this year, though. It's invigorating. It means that it's time for a new chapter, a chapter where the heroine has found a wealth of strength and hope and peace, which is all I've wanted for so long, and the hero isn't looking so bad himself.

After our respective meetings, we had such a sweet night last night. Sharing this growth with someone who is so special, in a place that's so beautiful, in our bed in our room in our home on our land by our street in our town in the world under the stars...it's warm and secure, or I'm warm and secure in the midst of our settling madness.

9 comments:

Trenting said...

Hmm.. I really liked this post.. I could visualize everything perfectly..

Chloe said...

I think my weather forecast from last night's meeting may have been accurate. Unless it takes 3 hours to wash a vehicle 2 minutes down the road. That freakin shoe!
Damned weather.

Recovery Discovery said...

The heroine conquering the effects of heroin. Yay!

Stagnant Artist said...

mmmmm, that sounds nice.......

ej. said...

Hurray for heroine.

I friggin love this stuff from you. You sounded happy, content, folks its not an act. lol.

So you take that serenity and go post it on your other blog, because I dont want to hear about it :P

I'm kidding, I am happy for you kiddo, your in a good space, and you always do infect me with your emotions.

Madness (JAA) said...

Happy, Joyous, and Free.

Madness (JAA) said...

Happy, Joyous, and Free!

ej. said...

I must have been in a bad place the first time around, because completely missed how beautiful this is. How much I desire the very place you are at, the begging of change, that writing of a new chapter, the season of change. All so eloquently written. And how I couldn't be happier for you and for G, to be in that place, together, sharing growth...that amazing and beautiful thing together. I will pray that you will go forward from here, to the next chapter, and on the way to a happy ending, because damn if the world, our world, could ever use a happy ending, and you should be the ones to live it.

thejunkyswife said...

But I liked your comment, Crazy. I'll delete it if you really make me, though.