Self Serving.

Last night, I nearly exploded with a topic at the meeting. While it's good to get feedback on my stuff, sometimes I feel like I'm a meeting pig. I write here about my crap all day, get feedback, and then go to the meeting and want more. MORE!

I know that it always helps when other people present their topics to discuss at meetings, and offering my experience or suggestions always helps me figure out my stuff.

I think I'm also feeling a little guilty because I'm going to this funeral tonight, and I want my husband to come with me. He's in such a slump that I know it would do him good to get out of his own head and think about how much he has to be grateful for, like that neither of us has flown off a mountainside...that he's alive, loved, strong and healthy (healthier, in fact, than he's been for years).

But it's a funeral. I'm going to support my friend. I wish that my mind didn't automatically go to this self-serving place, or this husband-serving place.

I'm so glad that neither of us has flown off the side of a mountain. I wish so much I could do something for my friend besides give him things to eat and show up at the memorial. I wish I could give him a puppy or a baby or some other warm, loving, beautiful thing...it's gut-wrenching to think of how he must be suffering, and he's such a sweet man.