Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Fun With Google.

I love playing with my Analytics. Analytics stalking has allowed me to delete my personal Myspace account. I only use the one attached to this site and the one I use for work now, which cuts down on my morning email routine significantly. But looking at who is looking at me on Google Analytics can make me a little paranoid, a little delusional, and a little wee bit crazy.

But the very best part of playing with Google and Sitemeter is not just feeling very important...it's the search strings. Here's the latest gems:

"I Hate My Husband" and "Hate Husband" are still very popular, and they still lead you to me rather frequently...so frequently, in fact, that I had to Google it myself. I am only on the third page of the search, so folks must REALLY HATE their husbands to ride the Google train all the way to page 3. They also tend to linger on the site, with an average of 12 minutes.

"Google my love" has brought me 4 hits. I do love Google. I do. I also find the phrase to be rather poetic and inspiring: Google, my love, the blood inside my veins (Except for that first foot, that's an iambic line. I think I'm suddenly composing a sonnet...help me, Question! You like Google poems!).

I also thought that the two phrases, "heroin ruined" and "If you asked me why I love him," were very nice.

"Steve Wilcos" has brought me 3 hits since this weekend's post, but those three hits have stayed for an average of 17 minutes. Crazies like to read my crazy, apparently.

I'm glad that the "addiction to sleep" query person found me and spent 3 minutes here. I think that whoever it is in this querier's life that is "addicted to sleep" is probably nodding off from all the black tar heroin he's shooting up.

Then, there's the sex addicts. Here's the list:

"I'm a man and look for a fuck wife."
"octopus woman fantasy"
"large tits"
"wife addicted for lovers cum" (Stayed for 11 minutes!)

And then the junkies looking for a good lie or a good connect or a good time. And also their wives looking for The Answer. Sorry for the buzzkill, guys!

"heroin addict smell"
"fun heroin website"
"heroin addict hide addiction"
"heroin Pennsylvania"
"heroin in my purse"
"heroin fantasy"
"heroin sex?"
"how to talk to a recovering heroin addict"
"i'm not a junky"
"secret places to shoot heroin"
"the pain of a heroin addict's girlfriend"

Now wasn't that fun?


Anonymous said...

how do i do that?

geish-a-non said...

well, at least you don't get strings of "want to fuck a geisha" searches, like i do every time I decide someone needs to 'shut the fuck up' or whatever. oh no, i hope this comment doesn't lead them to you now too...
there far too many such people in the world.

longvowels said...

stalking is fun!