This is very hard to write and I'm not even sure where to start.....except in the beginning.
My baby girl has a problem.....and that problem is a damn pill.
Right now.......I am angry. I'm angry at this pill called Oxycontin that has taken control of my daughter's very soul. I am typing this through tears. Soooo very hard.Her boyfriend and I took her...and my grandaughter.... to rehab this morning.
The only thing I can relate this feeling to, is when I took her to kindergarten the first day and walked off as she was holding onto my leg. I cried all the way home. My baby was a big girl now. She had started school. Where had time gone????? It seemed like just yesterday that I had given birth to her..and looked at her in amazement and thought OMG I made this baby. And look at how beautiful she is. I was so proud of her. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. And I thanked God for giving her to me...and that she was healthy and had all her little fingers and toes.
Well today.....that little baby girl cried once again as I was leaving her. I hugged her like I had not hugged her in such a long time.....gave my grandaughter a kiss and walked toward the door....and in my imagination.....I could feel that little girl wrapped around my leg again.....saying "Mommy don't leave me"
I'm not sure how long she has been addicted to Oxycontin's.....but that was what she was taking. A very expensive habit, I might add. She was spending about $400.00 a week on this addiction. Taking money that she could have used for bigger and better things.....but this is one of the ugly's of the addiction.
She told me just the other day...she didn't take them to get high anymore. She took them "To just feel normal" You see...once you become so addicted to them....you need them to just function. A day without them meant that she would lay in the bed and ache with flue like symptoms. Unable to function. Once she would get her "fix" she would be able to get around just fine and act normal. Verrrrrrry sad!
Fortunately.....she found a rehab facility that would let her take her daughter with her. I am very happy about that, because I'm not sure she would have gone if she had to leave her. For those of you who know her......you know what a sweetheart she is. Her picture is the second one on my friends list. The picture you see there was her BEFORE the drugs took over my baby.
Today......she has lost weight.....doesn't eat right....doesn't take care of herself, and I know she was on a road to death.....no doubt in my mind.She is a wonderful mother to her little girl when she can be. DAMN THOSE DRUGS!!!!!!!
Please say some prayers for her......if ya don't pray, then could you think some good thoughts for her. She needs all the help she can get right now.Why did I share this with all of you? Because you are my friends......and while she is in there getting help for herself......I need some support too. AND if there is anyone out there that is dealing with this.....feel free to contact me. I have some pretty big shoulders......and I'll share the Kleenex with you if you need some.........