Friday, April 20, 2007

Sweetness Inside

Here's a line that broke my heart from this artist's blog:

I have a 26 year old son. He's 6'4" and inside him somewhere is a beautiful person and a heart of gold.

It hurts to know that there is someone beautiful, someone talented, and someone so dearly lovable inside the addict in your life. It hurts to want to see that person so badly.

My grandmother is in a nursing home, and she's suffering from dimentia. My mother is caring for her, and she talks about how her situation is much worse than if her mother had died. She says that her mother's body is still there, but so much of her mother is just's like there was a window, for a while, that she could sometimes see through and see her mother, but it's been gradually closing, and now almost all that's left is dimensia. The person that my grandmother was is almost entirely gone.

I've written before on here how sometimes I feel like I get these glimpses past the addiction to my husband. I don't want it to eat all of him. I want there to be a lot of him left for me.

It reminds me of the song "At This Point In My Life"; there's this part line where she says:

You see when I've touched the sky
The earth's gravity has pulled me down
But now I've reconciled that in this world
Birds and angels get the wings to fly
If you can believe in this heart of mine
If you can give it a try
Then I'll reach inside and find and give you
All the sweetness that I have
At this point in my life

That song always makes me cry. I know there's so much inside my husband for me to love.

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