I had a stalkertunity last night, and I couldn't help but take it. I hate myself when I do this. I went through my husband's phone. He'd been text messaging with a girl I don't like, and I freaked out and asked him about it.
He handled my rather insane inquisition really well, and I apologized. It's been a long time since I've worried about another woman, and I generally don't anymore. My head is just really overwrought in a lot of ways, and everything seems prepped to go wrong. I'm glad he handled my fit well. Last week, when he was getting all revved up for relapse, he wouldn't have.
It makes me a little crazy when he won't admit that his stinky attitude last week was about how he was prepping himself for relapse. I take responsibility for being kind of nasty a lot to him, and I understand that he had gotten fed up with my sly, snide remarks. However, I also KNOW that he was getting ready for a relapse. Everyone predicted it. I predicted it. It's kind of scary how on point everyone was.
That's a really useful part of keeping this blog. It gives me a record of what I was thinking at which moment...which helps me know I'm not crazy.