We got a new dog.
I'd been looking on the internet for a cat, a relapse cat, as I'd decided that every time he relapses, I'm going to get a kitten--especiallly after my wild dream with the kitten in the jar. While looking, I saw an ad for a 10 month old German Shepherd puppy.
My husband had a German Shepherd when I first met him, and he loved her passionately. When she died, he kind of lost it. I guess I thought that by getting him this puppy, maybe he would feel better, or feel loved, or something.
I had to go through this long thing in my head--what was I trying to accomplish by getting the puppy? Did I expect that the puppy would change anything, or did I want to do something nice for my husband? What would the consequences for me be for getting the dog?
I realized that it would be a really nice thing to do for him, and I wanted to do something nice--and also, I realized that having the second dog wouldn't be any more work really than the first--when I let her out, he goes out, etc.
He's really sweet and well-behaved, and I think he'll be good for our pit, as she's a holy terror in a lot of ways. They played together really nicely, and it was fun watching them. They took turns being dominant and submissive, which was pretty neat. He's a lot bigger than my dog (I'm having a my dog-his dog dichotomy in my head), but he was really sweet to her. She was a little aggressive about food, and he put her in her place, but not without too much force. I think they're going to be great pals.
I also had to reign in a little bit of anger I had when he didn't play with the puppy as much as I thought he should. I am proud of myself--it's his business how he feels about things. I am trying to stop seeing everything he does in the worst light, and trying to let go of some of my anger by stopping focusing on everything he does.