Monday, April 16, 2007

Again with the trust and fear!

Tonight one of the guys who's staying at our house mentioned to me at dinner that he'd left his wallet and passport at our house. Today is my husband's day off work, so he was home all day. It made me afraid that he might have stolen from our guest, and I'm upset that I have to fear these things.

It would be really embarassing if he'd stolen. I don't want to have to explain why he might have done something like that. I don't this doubt.

He didn't go participate in the seminar today, and he didn't go to dinner with the rest of us. He was embarassed because of what he's done to his face. I had to make an excuse for him, so I just said he was lying down. I don't like lying.

I don't want this fear and trust, trust and fear. It's so draining. He was in bed all bed when I got home from work, and in bed still when I got home from dinner. When he was using all the time, he slept all day like that. After yesterday's episode, I'm afraid that we're back in full-blown addiction. I don't want to think anymore.

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