Monday, April 16, 2007
I found this list to be pretty interesting. It's amazing how whenever I look at something like this list, so many alarm bells go off for me. I feel such a sense of recognition. Here's the list:
What to remember, so that you can get out from under the craziness:
* Addicts will blame the family, as surely as tubercular patients will cough.
* The addict will turn the facts around 180 degrees to accomplish the blame.
* You do not have to convince them that they’re wrong. They know it.
* When you spend time trying to convince them of the truth, they know that you feel vulnerable. When you do not spend time trying to convince them of the truth, but just go about your business knowing the truth and acting upon it, they know that you know the truth. And they lose their power over you.
* Making your life plans according to the threats/promises of an addict/alcoholic is like making your life plans according to the wishes of a mental patient.
* You absolutely have the right to stay away long enough from a relationship in order to see how it will develop and to see if promises will be kept.
* If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen in good time, and according to God’s time.
* It almost never feels right to do the right thing, for alcoholic/addict families. It almost always makes us feel guilty, at first.
* If it’s good for the family, it’s good for the addict!!