Whatever.

I am amazed of late by the things that fail to piss me off.

My husband finished another of his odd jobs today, and he got a pretty big paycheck. I am $500 short on our bills this month, so whatever contribution he makes to the bills will be a real big help. He called me a few minutes ago, and he's shopping. He said that since we have extra money, he wants to pick up a few things. He asked me about my shoe size, so apparently, he's also shopping for me.

Not too long ago, even if he'd sweetly said he was going to buy a few things for me, I would have been pissed by the idea of "extra money." There is no extra money unless he is planning to give me more than the $500 I'm short. I'm certain he's not.

In the end, I find it slightly annoying that he's making choices that I don't agree with about his money, but I'm still grateful that he's making better choices than he used to make. I'm hoping he'll help me out some, and I'll be grateful for whatever he contributes. He knows that the finances are pretty dire, as we are reaching the point where we are sometimes having utilities cut off, and I have told him recently that I am going to be $500 short this month. If he chooses to spend his money differently that I would spend mine, that's his choice.

My husband is kind of an ass with money, and I love him anyway. Getting upset about another bad series of decisions with money won't make him stop spending his money foolishly. It bugs me, but it's not a deal breaker--at least not today. It's certainly better than when he hid every dime he made from me to spend it all on heroin and cocaine.

So, when we get our power cut off at the end of the month, I'll smile at him in my new shoes and camp out by candlelight.

If you can't accept it or enjoy it, stop doing it.

I just finished Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth last night. I've been reading it for a while, kind of in between other things I've been reading, and through the peaks and valleys, I've found a lot of things that helped me re-think my choices and re-view my life. In many ways, it felt like reading familiar material put into new words...and not in a bad way.

You can find the rest at The Second Road.