Friday, February 29, 2008

Heroin-Eze

I can't count the number of times I've found myself in a pharmacy looking for various ointments, pills, juices, vitamins, elixirs and potions to treat my husband when he's detoxing. Ibuprofen and Aspercream for his legs, laxatives and antacids for his stomach, vitamins to try to combat that awful grey-color of his skin, Tucks for his hemorrhoids, oils and Ayurvedic remedies, flush-your-system detox kits, teas and heating pads and ice packs and all kinds of things.

I was wandering around in a store again this past weekend, and I wondered if I'm the only one wandering around filling a basket with various remedies, and I realized that I'm probably not. I'm surprised that the pharmaceutical company hasn't recognized the potential market for a single pill to treat all the symptoms of detox.

Come on, evil pharmaceutical robber barons! Help the many junkies' wives out! It's exhausting to roam the aisles of the drug stores picking out these individual treatments for the individual symptoms. You made Midol! Why not Heroin-Eze?