Thursday, November 1, 2007

Truth.

We went to the emergency room last night. At the same time as he started detoxing, he fell off a ladder while doing some work for his dad, so his arm was hurt. He'd had so much physical shit going on with withdrawal that he hadn't worried about the fall, but the methadone dose has gotten to a more comfortable point now, and he got worried.

He sat down at the triage station, and said, "I'm kind of a mess. I'm withdrawing from heroin, but I've been going to the methadone clinic. I used yesterday. I've been in and out of withdrawal, but the methadone is starting to help. I fell off a ladder a few days ago, but so much has been going on, that I wasn't sure if something was wrong with my arm."

It's sad that hearing the truth come out of his mouth, even though it's such a messy, complicated truth, makes me proud of him. That's a hard truth to tell. I got tears in my eyes listening to him.

14 comments:

Honeybell said...

Wow, I bet that was hard for him, I hope they treated you both decently. Sadly, a lot of health care workers are judgmental assholes.

Wayward Son said...

You should be proud. The truth is a very big first step in what will be a long, arduous and very worth it journey.

Even though you are writing less frequently (and understandably so) I have had you in my thoughts for I have had glimpses of people I barely knew going through opiate withdrawal. It was scary and painful to see. I cannot even begin to fathom how hard it is to see it continuously and in someone you care so deeply for.

There is much love, compassion and support out here for the both of you. Please keep the faith. It WILL get better. I feel that the truth you have just written of is indicative of that.

WS

Shifra said...

WOW. The elusive truth. The thing we all want to hear and know even if it means we will be turned on our ear and never able to stand up straight again. Keep it up G.

ScOuT said...

Just like WS said -- him being honest is a HUGE accomplishment. It's the honesty that starts us out to truly getting better. He's taking lil' steps, J, and I am excited for both of you.
Hope springs eternal.
Love,
Scout

woman.anonymous7 said...

Reminds me of MPJs Halloween miracle...watching someone you love very much do something difficult and achieve a personal victory is a wonderful thing. I'm glad to hear you got a moment like that, especially as I know you've been traveling a hard path lately.

Recovery Discovery said...

We have a phrase for that in my house, proud tears. Glad you're getting to experience them. It's been a long time coming.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Go, G! It's a hard, hard thing for addicts to tell the truth -- I'm proud of him too. :)

Sam Sejavka said...

Not that I've been blogging long, but this is the first gear-related blog I've encountered other than my own. [Sails of Oblivion] I'll link you and read with interest.

luv on ya

Pearl said...

Admitting you're an addict is a huge step. So, that's awesome that he's able to admit it to not only himself but other people. I'm sure it was a big step for you just to hear it.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

I read you every day.

Your story is so much more than heroin and recovery.

Courage

Polly Kahl said...

Good for him for being honest. I hope he is able to utilize your love for him, and that your patience pays off. Your caring shines through in every blog.

Polly Kahl said...

Good for him for bieng honest. If the hospital workers weren't supportive, I hope he didn't let that discourage him. There will always be those who don't understand, but we can't let them stop us.

S.G. said...

I'm going through the same thing.

resentingmyresent said...

My man had to tell his dentist yesterday that he was a recovering heroin addict. It encourages me that he can be open about it, it shows progress. The less they hide the better right? Even when it's things we don't want to hear!

I only found your blog tonight, wish I'd found it last year. I really admire your strength and am jealous of the depth of your love. I often feel I'm just doing it for the kids so your lucky not to have that clouding your judgement!

xx