Sometimes, it feels like all the weekend is for is cleaning up the previous week's messes, and when the week starts, I've not really rested at all. It's not completely true that I didn't get any rest this weekend. I slept plenty...it's just been a while since I've had the time or energy to really enjoy myself, to really stop doing stuff, fixing stuff, thinking about stuff, and enjoy my life.
Taking time to create some real sweetness would be easier with a little money, I know. It would help if we could go on vacation, even just go out to dinner now and then. We can't, though.
It's sometimes hard to think of what we can do to have fun with no money. We watch movies. We watch Meerkats online. We make food. These things are nice, but I want more.
I want a real vacation, or a retreat. Maybe we should go camping or hiking, even just for the day. We could really make a day trip, and all it would cost would be gas. I kind of feel like I need to get sweaty, get away from my phone, get outside in the air for a bit.
I don't like this feeling of life passing me, passing all around me. I don't like feeling like a victim of it. It has been too dire, too important for us to get here. Now that we're here, it sometimes seems like it's hard to know what to do next.