Thursday, June 14, 2007

Disappointment Of A Failed Search.

I'm a downer, huh? I just took a gander at the search strings that can lead you to The Junky's Wife, and it's pretty fun...and I want to apologize for the boner/buzzkill. Once again, I'm stealing ideas for things to write about from MPJ. My own list kind of surprised me, though, because I'm not sure how some of these queries can lead you to me. Maybe, if I look long and hard enough at the ways people are finding me, I can figure out something important about attract what you are, right? And so I can read the search queries like tarot cards. Let me know if you can figure out for me what they mean.

These make me chuckle:
  • "beautiful tatas"
  • "i hate my fucking wife"
  • "i hate my fucking husband"
  • "bad wife" + "quotes"
  • "sexy and nasty"
  • "marriage"
  • "scandalous"
  • "paranoia was right"
  • "squalor hoarding"
  • "do the dishes"
  • "morphine addiction makes skin look bad"
  • "junky home spiritual nature"
  • "fuck tonight"
But some of them are sad. The one about preconception lead to my site 19 times. I am sorry I didn't have an answer for her. I wish there were a way that I could contact the poor woman on the other end of that query, reaching out to the blind, cold internet to find someone to reassure her that her baby won't be born addicted to heroin even thought its father is. I picture her 6 months pregnant, frantically Googling next to newly found needles. Or the few that begin with the phrase, "Help me."Here's the list:
  • "effects of heroin addict father preconception"
  • "fault addict codependence overdose"
  • "my husband's dead from a heroin overdose"
  • "daughter took mother's oxycontin pills"
  • "help me my husband is a heroin attic"
  • "wife give up career"
  • "addict relapse spouse what to do"
  • "downward spiral"
  • "please help me with my son's heroin addiction"
  • "cure for sores on face from crank"
  • "trying to live" + "heroin addict"
These are from the folks trying to figure out new and exciting ways to get high. Sorry for the buzzkill, folks:
  • "how to make a opium pipe"
  • "what does a speedball feel like"
  • "safe?" "methadone and oxycontin"
And these are just inexplicable:
  • "sex under water"
  • "lesbian kiss"
  • "coke whore video husband dealer pay wife"
  • "kneel and jerk off for wife"
  • "want a baby" + "craigslist"


Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I was going to post a follow-up to my original post on search strings that lead to my blog, because a few new ones have popped up. The other day I got a scary one "pictures of interracial couples being lynched." Ack! What the fuck?! Who on earth is searching for that?! Mostly people are finding me now by searching "pictures of lesbian sex at prom." ;)

Warning to readers of The Junky's Wife: I don't actually have any on my blog, so don't go looking!

Anonymous said...

I have been pondering whether or not to actually admit that I was the one who was searching "effects of heroin addict father preconception". Well, it was me. It is quite embarrassing after reading it but I bet you can understand after I explain myself. I have been with my husband 9 yrs and have no children. He got out of rehab in January but is still not living back at home with me. Mostly, because I would swear on my life that he still using even though he denies it. We both talk about wanting to have a family. I really do want to have a baby but a million questions come rushing thru my head. For example, yes I do want a baby but, should he be fathering it? If he is still using, would the baby be okay? If I did get pregnant would it be the one thing that would make him want to quit? Those are just a few. So, please think of me as just a girl wanting to have a normal life again with her so-called recovering drug addict husband.