Saturday, June 16, 2007

A Beautiful, Bloody Mess.

This should make for some interesting Google search strings:

I can't believe I haven't written about this here yet! I talk about it, constantly, much to the embarassment of those who are forced to listen. I've never written about it yet, though.

So sometime early on in our relationship, like in the first two or three weeks that we were fucking, I had my period. The ex refused to have sex with me when I was on the rag because it was too messy. My husband, however, treated my period like a time of delightful experimentation. We made love, and he came inside of me in the way that he always does, as if we are desperate to procreate, as if we were the last two people left alive on earth and it is absolutely mandatory that we commingle our bodily fluids in order to produce beautiful little insane offspring to torment future generations...and so my crotch was all messy and bloody and cum-filled, and there were bloody handprints everywhere, and the sheets were this amazing mishmash of sweat and blood and sex, and what did my husband do? Did he get a towel? Did he get in the shower?

Oh, no. He buried his face in my crotch. He went down on me, in the most outrageous, delicious, beautiful moment of vampire lust-love I've ever even imagined. I couldn't even have conceived of a more loving, beautiful gesture, not in my most absurd fantasies. I never felt more loved, more passionate, more accepted, than in that moment. I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. I felt like I'd found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the crazy bastard who would eat me out with cum and blood and smear all the mess of our bodies that we'd need to make a baby all over his face and in his mouth and in his eyes.

He emerged from my crotch looking as if he'd been beaten. He said beautiful things that I will not tell you because those words are mine. Those words were true, and mine, and the loveliest words I'd ever heard. He collapsed on top of me, and we were messy and in love and real, real as the dirt and the blood, sweat, and tears I'd shed in the years to come in trying to recapture that feeling.

Oh, you blue-eyed love bandit! Come home to me!


mahog said...

Absolutely beautiful!
Everytime I hear it, just more and more beautiful!
It makes me almost love him.

writer4web said...

Dear Junky's Wife,

This post is real, and your words are loaded with meaning. Your thoughts are strong, and your actions have vitality. I have noticed that those who live with addicts sometimes lose their perspective.

The wonderful memories you speak about, look a little like a bloody mess. You need to look at your words and read them to yourself.

Look at the quote again from your blog and read it to yourself darling.

"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong."
--Stella Adler

I think about you often and hope that you gain perspective with each and every day. Please take care of YOURSELF.


Bill said...

talk about getting your "Red Wings" he earned his and sum. some of the things you write at times shock and amaze me at the same time. your brutal honesty is admired. btw-does G read your blog,if so,how does he react to them? at times, you do not paint the prettiest pic. of him. your undieing love for him is always quite apparent and present.
Blessings to both of you

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Mmm, my husband has done this too. Crazy sex addict. It makes me feel so sexy and loved that he would find me beautiful when other men are repulsed.

Recovering Wino said...

I actually liked this post...I always hated men who treated my period like it was something to be repulsed about. I slept with someone once who insisted on getting a shower after we had sex (even when I didn't have my period)...needless to say, that didn't last long.